Last week my crazy Uncle Willie called and today his wife, my Aunt Maggie called. She is a bit odd too.
Hi: Just calling to see if you got your stimulus check yet? If you haven’t I know why.
Me: No, but why?
Her: Heard your President is holding up checks until they can get his name on them, so far they haven’t found enough crayons for him to color his name yet. Besides the minute he insisted upon his name being on the checks I knew there would be a problem. Something fishy would happen.
Me: Don’t say that. If that gets back to him, he will tear my check up and the IRS will have me owing him.
Her: He that giveth also taketh away. I bet the stimulus checks will be deducted from the Medicaid and Social Security checks for the poor and the seniors. With that kind of fellow in office, you gotta watch your back, your side, because they come aiming at you in all directions.
Me: Don’t say a thing like that.
Her: Yup. Learned something else too. Heard through the grapevine that everyone who comes into the White House has to pass a lie detector test.
Me: Well that sounds positive.
Her: They have to swear NEVER To tell the truth under any circumstance, condition or situation, even if someone’s life depends upon it. They have lying coaches there to help them, lest they stumble and a truth slips out. If they dare to tell the truth, they can be fired, black balled, or even worse.
Me: You must be kidding.
Her: No, for real. Didn’t you read in the paper that the poor nurses in some hospitals were not allowed to tell the media they felt they were like sheep going to the slaughter because they didn’t have protective masks. They had to lie and say everything was all right to keep their jobs because the truth would make the president look bad. What about that Navy captain that was kicked off his ship because he warned that his crew was in danger from Covid-19. The truth would have made the president look bad. Truth is against the law.
Me: Well Dr. Fauci tells the truth.
Her: Why do you think the press always ask where Dr. Fauci is if he doesn’t attend every press conference. Well that’s because they fear somebody might have grabbed him by the ears and tossed him out a window.
Me: What a terrible thing to say. I have heard enough.
Her: Well keep watch. Over at that White House any day lightning could strike, the locusts could come crawling up their lawn and the sounds of trumpets heard and…
Me.. Never mind Aunt Maggie, got to go now.